Every morning I get up and look in the mirror and get saddened by what I see. The double chin, the stomach that people stare at wondering if I’m pregnant, the fat thighs and the jiggly arms. It’s a far cry from the slight girl I was for 30 years, and it’s not who I want to be. Every day I look at my reflection and think to myself that I need to do something about it. I need to lose weight. I need to exercise. I need to eat better.
And then the excuses start. I have no time. I can’t afford to go to the gym. I don’t have any workout clothes. My husband buys too much junk food. I have no will power.
And then the insecurities set in. I can’t go out and exercise in public because I’ll look stupid. I don’t want to tell people I’m trying to lose weight because I might fail. I don’t want to ask for support, because I don’t want to look weak.
But if there’s on thing life has taught me, it is that things don’t change if you don’t change them. So today I got up and told myself there would be no excuses. I will ignore my insecurities. I pulled on my old yoga pants and a yoga top that is fitting more than a little too snug. I pulled a big t-shirt over top of it and planned to do some exercises with the xbox, but then I changed my mind. I decided to go outside.
It’s was really cold outside. If I could make myself go outside in the frigid temperatures, then I wouldn’t have the winter excuse anymore. If I could pull on my daughter’s fluffy pink mittens and my husband’s Canada toque and walk/jog around the neighbourhood, then I would be breaking through that barrier that tells me I can’t look dumb in public (and I’m even showing all of you!).
So I did. And I survived. And tomorrow I’m going to do it again.