13 Reasons Why We Should Talk About the Ripple Effect of Suicide

04/23/2017

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This article contains spoilers for the Netflix series “13 Reasons Why” while discussing the ripple effect of suicide.

“My brother died.” She muttered as she made her way to the manager’s office.

I was fourteen years old and working the snack booth in our local movie theatre when my coworker came in with tears streaming down her face. She looked empty. Her eyes were unfocused and expressionless as she answered me when I asked what was wrong.

I would learn later that her brother had taken his own life. He was the second of her siblings to take that route and in the following months she often spoke of her own desire to die. She worked through it, but not everyone escapes the ripple effect of suicide. Suicide leaves friends and family wondering what they did wrong. Some lay blame with themselves and others point fingers at one another. Some survivors want to die too, either to be with the lost loved one again or because the loss is too great to bear.

Personal Connection

Often suicide threats are taken as a cry for attention and that is what they are, but when no one seems to hear that cry the threat can become reality. I was personally touched by suicide shortly before my sixteenth birthday.

For several months I shared a room with a 15 year old native-Canadian girl who felt very alone. Her parents had cut off all contact with her and her boyfriend was no longer taking her calls. She attempted to cut her wrists with school scissors and told anyone who would listen that she wanted to die. Shortly after moving to a foster home, she took her own life with the antidepressants that she had been prescribed for depression. I felt her loss deeply, and I was angry with her parents, her boyfriend and the doctor who prescribed the medication. I wished that there was something more that I could have done to save her. I’ve always wondered if any of the responsibility lay with me.

At that point in my life, I am certain I could not have shouldered any of the burden of her death. Had she left me a note or a video placing blame on me, I may have followed in her footsteps. My life had its own challenges and I was a sensitive kid.

Netflix Series

The Netflix series “13 Reasons Why” focuses on the suicide of a teenage girl who leaves behind a series of tapes explaining the 13 reasons why she has taken her life. Each of these reasons is attached to the actions of a person who had wronged her in some way. The reasons range from a neglected friendship to rape, and her tapes are intended to be listened to by the people who hurt her.

“13 Reasons Why” is full of triggers for bullying, sexual assault and suicide, making it a difficult program to watch. There are many discussions online about whether your kids should be watching, and for me the answer is ‘no’. I have emotionally sensitive children who seem to be deeply impacted by sad or unfair events and I feel they would internalize the main character’s pain more than they would learn from it. Mostly I am afraid of the ripple effect from this show.

Not for Everyone

I worry about children like mine who will connect deeply with the girl who took her life and maybe feel that she found the only solution. My fear is that kids will follow her lead and take their own lives while laying blame with others who may then also fail to see the reason to live. I worry about kids who are struggling with similar situations as the main character and how the show will impact them. I’m concerned that not all parents know if they have sensitive children who may not benefit from watching it.

After finishing the series, I felt sad to my core, and I don’t want to make my children feel that way. Instead, I want them to know that there are people to talk to and places to go if you are feeling alone or depressed. I intend to use the show as a talking point about suicide, bullying and sexual assault but I won’t be watching it with them or encouraging them to watch.

Have you watched “13 Reasons Why”? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Entertainment, mental health, Parenting, suicide, teens

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Comments

3 responses to “13 Reasons Why We Should Talk About the Ripple Effect of Suicide”

Elizabeth Matthiesen

04/25/2017

I agree that this is a difficult topic for impressionable children. I wouldn’t have liked mine to watch it either. It is a good point of discussion though to bring up the points about suicide, rape, bullying even drugs whilst pointing out that there are people to talk to to help you through this problem. One of my friends in England mans a help-line for such things and I was amazed to hear that they get a lot of calls from the USA, presumably because they don’t have any there?

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S Alexis

04/26/2017

I think this show has done a service in some ways to open the conversation about suicide. People tend to hide it, afraid to talk about it. And it is SO IMPORTANT to talk about it. My sister attempted suicide as a teen and I was SO AFRAID to talk about it. It still feels uncomfortable to talk about. It IS uncomfortable to talk about. But it’s also very important. I’m glad that this show has at the very least opened up the conversation. <3

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Katie

07/06/2017

I watched it with my children. They actually refused to watch the entire thing. Being older teenagers, they understood the concept of a television show, but they also understood that there are many teenagers who felt the same way, like they had no way out without pain. It opened a discussion with my family and we talked about it for a while and learned that while my children are sensitive and impressionable, they are also strong and sensible. Each one had thoughts of dying before and each one worked through it and discussed it with the family. I feel that at some point, everyone entertains the thought, whether casually or seriously. Luckily, mine were casual thoughts of it. I think it is a good show to open up with teenagers about how to come to responsible adults and explain how you are always there for them if they need you. Parents who aren’t as involved with their kids… well perhaps theirs shouldn’t watch it. Because it does glorify suicide. Honestly, after a month or so, those high school kids would have moved on and never thought about her again.

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